jumpingjacktrash:

fictions-stranger:

jimminovak:

lafememeistnoire:

naamahdarling:

blome3kissesbitch:

blome3kissesbitch:

squeakykins:

rabbitinheadlights:

I feel like the reason certain dog-lovers insist cats are evil is because they read their body language as if they were dogs. So here’s a very basic guide to common “mean” things cats do that actually aren’t mean at all if you know what they’re thinking.

Rolling and exposing belly- attacks you when touched
Does not mean: Give belly rubs! – haha I tricked you! 
Actually means: I’m playful! If you reach for my belly I’ll grab your arm and bite it because I think we’re playfighting! 

Lazily exposing belly – still attacks when touched
Does not mean: tricked you again!
Actually means: I’m showing you my belly because I trust you. Please don’t break that trust by invading my personal space. I might accept a belly rub if I’m not ticklish and I know you well.

Snapping at you while being pet
Does not mean: I suddenly decided I dislike you!
Actually means: You’re petting me in a way that gives me too much restless energy. Please focus on petting my head and shoulders instead of stroking the full length of my back next time.

Is in the same room but makes no attempt to interact
Does not mean:  I’m ignoring you
Actually means: We’re hanging out! I’m being respectful by giving you space while still enjoying your company.

Slapping/scratching your hand when you try to pet them
Does not mean: I hate you!
Actually means: You’ve failed to establish that we’re not playing, or the way you’re approaching me scares me. Be calmer, speak more gently, make eye-contact and blink slowly at me before you try again.

I love this post omg, thank you so much. As a lifelong cat person, dogs perplex me because they’re so completely different behaviourally.

I love dogs too but, I’ve been trying to tell people, you canNOT treat cats like you treat dogs. They arent the same animals and have very different personalities

P.s.: people often pet cats way too hard. Dogs like a firm pet or a pat on the belly, cats dont have the same bone structure and are more flexible than dogs so what you’re doing probably hurts them

Sitting and staring
Does not mean: I am challenging you/plotting your demise/just generally evil and creepy.
Actually means: I am a desert-adapted species, so my natural tears are very thick and keep my eyes moist for a nice long time. I do find people interesting and enjoy watching them.  I just don’t need to blink very often!

Staring and blinking slowly
Does not mean: I’m smug and think I am smarter than you.
Actually means: I like you! But I don’t need to get up in your face to show it.  I can just sit over here and blow kisses at you to show you I am glad you are around!

It’s very frustrating for me when people expect cats to act like dogs, or act like they’re deceitful.  They aren’t!  They just AREN’T DOGS.

Pour les chats 🐈💞

Get ready for “more reasons why I fucking love cats”

  • Yes, the legends are true. Cats headbutt you to show their trust and affection. They also do it to show “hey look I see you as family.” Lions do it with members of their pride to say the same. It’s not just because they want food.
  • Cats nibbling is indeed literally cats grooming you. It’s what mom cats do to their kittens. If a cat is gently biting and/or licking you, they’re now your mom.
  • Meowing can simply be for the mere fact they want to say hello, want to play or be pet. Again, not just for food.
  • They barely meow at other cats (except for kittens, they meow at mom cat), mostly just humans. There are exceptions but overall, meowing is almost always for us.
  • Cats squinting/slow blinking is indeed basically the equivalent of us smiling and/or kissing.
  • Cats, like humans, prefer to get things without having to work for it- which isn’t very common within other animals.
  • Cat massages or making biscuits is because they happy! Kneading is another way of saying “hey I like this moment here I enjoy you and my life.”
  • Cats recognize us by smell, sound, taste, and touch. They recognize us after years as their long term memory is extremely good. This is why abused or neglected cats are so easily scared or hard to connect with. If your scent changes over the years or just in the day, your voice will them it’s really you. Also, they will only remember you if you had impact on their life. If you just existed in the same house, they obviously won’t care.
  • And yes, they know our patterns in the day. You notice it when it’s beneficial to them (feeding time!). They will often wait for you to come home as well.
  • To remember: cats think we are interesting as hell. They watch us do everything because we’re fascinating!!!
  • They also want you to be around when eating because they feel vulnerable. They focus on eating so they hope you protect them. They do the same for you, all the time.

CATS 😍😍😍😍

when a cat turns their back on you, they’re not snubbing you. they’re trusting you to watch their back.

notice how when you’re unfamiliar but nonthreatening, they might loaf facing you and sorta halfway watch you. you’re not fully trusted, but you’re ok by them.

when you’re familiar and liked, they’ll often sit near you facing the same way. imitation of poses is a weird little way cats show solidarity. they do it to each other too. check out these bff’s:

they are doing this on purpose. it’s a buddy thing. so if you’re watching tv and a cat sits next to you and pretends to watch tv too, they are basically calling you bro and declaring friendship.

and if they really love and trust you, they’ll turn their back on you and go to sleep. they’ll sleep facing a wall in your presence, or lounge where they can’t see the room. this isn’t a snub, folks, this is true kitty love. they’re saying, “i feel safe when you’re around. i know nothing’s going to sneak up on me, because you’re here. i feel so safe i can stick my head under a pillow and snore with my butt pointed at you.”

farts aren’t an expression of love, though, as far as i know. they’re just farts.

ouidamforeman:

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

agathaheterodyne:

it’s occurred to me that i’ve been out of classic who fandom so long that some of you doubtless have not seen it. if that is the case, here are some honest-to-god, hand-over-heart true facts about classic doctor who:

  • an entire fake season of the show had to be made up to make a single companion’s timeline possible
  • the last story of the entire run involves the master turning into a cat furry
  • a companion nearly gets eaten by a giant clam
  • there is an entire season where every villain is the master but in different ludicrous disguises. one time he summons satan
  • one time the production team forgot colin baker tied to a pole in the woods
  • tom baker’s scarf was supposed to be normal scarf-length, but the person who bought the yarn had no idea how much yarn you need to make a scarf and bought way too much, and the person who was hired to make the scarf wasn’t told to stop. so she just. didn’t
  • the fifth doctor had a robot companion who had to be abruptly written off the show after the only person who knew how to operate the robot died
  • there is a serial where people are eaten by inflatable furniture and people complained to the bbc that it was too violent
  • an alien exiled to a boys’ boarding school on earth was convinced to kill the doctor by a man with a bird shellacked to his scalp. he failed so badly at killing the doctor that he became a companion instead
  • UNLIMITED RICE PUDDING
  • There was an entire six part story that was basically the miners strike but In Space. Everything was part of a plot by the Ice Warriors who wanted to start a space war and apparently pissing off miners with ridiculous hair was a crucial part of that plan. Probably still less evil than Margaret Thatcher though
  • The Master once dressed up as a Scarecrow and stood in a field. The Doctor and his companion walked by by PURE CHANCE and the Master took that as an excuse to drop the disguise and throw together a plan that involved causing a minor inconvenience to established history. There was no logical way he could have known the Doctor would be in that place at that time. He just felt like being a scarecrow and freaking out birds I guess
  • That same story has someone turned into a sentient tree
  • The Seventh Doctor once distracted three Lovecraftian beings from before the dawn of time with a magic show who were running a Murderous Circus staffed by homicidal clowns until his pyromaniac lesbian companion could throw him a hippies magic pendant which shot lasers at the gods and killed them.
  • That same story had a Space Werewolf and a British Explorer From Space 
  • The Sixth Doctor’s companion Peri had a timeline so effing convoluted that an entire audio drama was made about how time travel had genuinely created MULTIPLE VERSIONS OF HER because it was the only way to explain all the contradictions
  • The Fourth Doctor painted the words “This is a Fake” behind the Mona Lisa as part of a plan to stop an alien art thief from wiping humanity from existence
  • The Seventh Doctor once fought a Homicidal Bertie Basset who worked for Margaret Thatcher in Space and killed people with deadly sweets. He defeated him with lemonade.
  • Ace literally has a girlfriend in almost every story she’s in. It’s not even subtle. In one story they literally had her and her Girl of the Week dressed in tuxes together.
  • Harry Sullivan is an Imbecile

“I promise it’s cool when you watch it”

satan-graffitied-my-soul:

anarchetypal:

i saw this post earlier about therapists and it reminded me of my old therapist paul, who in my opinion is one of the greatest men alive and who did not put up with my bullshit for even one second

anyway i go in to see paul one week in the summer of 2016, and i’m doing my usual bullshit which consists of me talking shit about myself, and paul is staring at me, and then he cuts me off and says that he’s got a new tool for helping people recognize when they’re using negative language, and gets up and goes over to his desk

and i’m like alright hit me with that sweet sweet self-help article my man, because i’m a linguistic learner and whenever paul’s like here i have a tool for you to use it’s pretty much always an article or a book or something

paul opens a drawer, takes something out, and turns back around. i stare.

i say, paul.

is that a nerf gun.

image

yeah, says paul.

i say, are you gonna shoot me with a nerf gun in this professional setting.

he happily informs me that that’s really up to me, isn’t it. and sits back down. and gestures, like, go ahead, what were you saying?

and i squint suspiciously and start back up about how i’m having too much anxiety to leave the house to run errands, like it was a miracle to even get here, like i’ve forgone getting groceries for the past week and that’s so stupid, what a stupid issue, i’m an idiot, how could i–

a foam dart hits me in the leg.

i go, hey! because my therapist just shot me in the leg. paul blinks at me placidly and raises an eyebrow. i squint again.

i say, slowly, it’s– not a stupid issue, i’m not stupid, but it’s frustrating me and i don’t want it to be a problem i’m having.

no dart this time. okay. sweet.

so the rest of the hour passes with me intermittently getting nailed with tiny foam darts and then swearing and then fixing my language and, wouldn’t you know it, i start liking myself a little more by the end of the session, which is mildly infuriating because paul can tell and he’s very smug about it 

anyway i leave his office and the lady having the next appointment walks in and i hear what’s all over the floor? and paul very seriously says cognitive behavioral therapy tools.

The “I won’t hesitate, bitch” vine but @ friends who don’t love themselves

aquafresh:

miss-krypton:

aquafresh:

To celebrate the release of Disney’s Wreck it Ralph 2: Ralph Breaks the Internet, Aquafresh is teaming up with Disney to make Wreck-It Ralph inspired toothpaste, flavored just like Ralph’s favorite food, Bricks!

w h a t

To celebrate the release of Disney’s Wreck it Ralph 2: Ralph Breaks the Internet, Aquafresh is teaming up with Disney to make Wreck-It Ralph inspired toothpaste, flavored just like Ralph’s favorite food, Bricks!