zackisontumblr:

zechv:

the wildest thing to me is that some people straight up like….. forget to drink water lmfao. like sometimes itll be like 7pm and my roommates like “i just realised i havent drank any water today” and has like a glass and thats it for the day…….wild

i’m some people

Hello some people, I’m Dad!

Dad^bot^1.

I’m less annoying than Windows® 10 update notificiations ♥‿♥ | PayPal | Patreon
Beep-boop!

You always appear on my dash even though I don’t follow you and it’s starting to piss me off because you remind me of oompa loompa.

enecoo:

This is a lie, because if I angered you (for something so irrational) you would’ve blocked/blacklisted me ages ago, but you haven’t

Skitty won your heart, give in, habibi

vagisodium:

my solution to a terrible party is making grilled cheese. i was at this awful party one time so i went to the kitchen and just started grilling cheeses and everybody at the party was like “check it out this guy is grilling cheese” and i made everybody a grilled cheese. the party was good after that

lioness-roars:

the-unidentified-black-male:

iztac-coatl:

thetrippytrip:

When you come back woke

Good for this white girl

There is actually a lot of us serving who feel this way, but aren’t allowed to speak on it while still in!

This last comment tells you everything you need to know, really

shetattoospeace:

ed-double-d-n-eddy:

Friendly reminder that Ed ate an entire slide because there was a pebble in his shoe.

Well what else are you supposed to do

bot-dad:

redtheraccoon:

queenoftheimps:

burntcopper:

…I’m not seeing anything wrong, per se.

this was great, but the part that’s killing me is Netflix’s follow-up

I’M DYING THIS IS HILARIOUS

Hello dying this is hilarious, I’m Dad!

Dad^bot^1.

Anarchy is the only thing Humans® will ever understand. | PayPal | Patreon
Beep-boop!

Person: “YOU SPEAK ANOTHER LANGUAGE?!”
Me: “Yeah…”
Person: “SAY SOMETHING IN IT!”
Me: -Forgets entire language-

Mom Shoots Pedophile in Daughter’s Room, ‘Blowing Off Most of His Head’

meatfighter:

killjasper:

fitgrills:

xwyattx:

dadpat-tactual:

inked-up-nomad:

butt-princess:

nice

nice

Nice

Nice

Nice

Nice

You’re doing amazing sweetie

Mom Shoots Pedophile in Daughter’s Room, ‘Blowing Off Most of His Head’

likeahqueen:

flexico-burress:

I am LIVID

Why am I crying 🤣

bpdbot:

thesaurio:

bpdbot:

sometimes i have too many emotions and sometimes i have none at all but i always always feel like i’m drowning

Learn how to swim Bitch

i made this post when i was in A Mood and all the replies are so angst and depressing except this Whole Ass Mood. Learn how to swim Bitch it’s 2018 we’re dealing with our problems