racingbarakarts:

myblogisnotinteresting:

racingbarakarts:

I used to have geese so here’s a tip for everyone:

If a goose is attacking you, don’t run. No matter what, stand your ground. They can fly but when they’re mad, they don’t usually try to fly. Hold your hands in front of you, ready to grasp. When the goose gets close, grab it by the neck bit closest to the head and squeeze. Not tight enough to choke the goose, but tight enough so they can’t break free. You can hold them until they calm down or just do the next step right away. The next step is literally just to chuck them as far as possible and run for your life. It makes the goose know you’re in charge and you have a better chance of getting away. Trust me I’ve done this so many times that I’ve lost count

I can’t tell if this is a shitpost or actual advice. But I do know geese are the fucking worst.

Actual advice! Just yeet a goose

etirabys:

argumate:

etirabys:

guy who invented the piano: what if we laid a harp on its side and added hammers

musician: you clumsy oaf, you just knocked over my harp with your toolbox!

guy who’s about to invent the piano: oh, haven’t you heard?

how dare you take this mediocre shitpost and make it genuinely funny