isolemnlyswear-iamsuperwholocked:

an-anxious-gay-mess:

sympathetic-deceit-trash:

taylormademediocrity:

spacetaters:

ok but can we like start a petition for Cards Against Humanity to make a John Mulaney themed pack because i would be willing to spend all my money on that

Suggestions:

Black cards-

• THERES A ______ LOOSE! IN THE HOSPITAL

• Eat ass, suck a dick, and sell ________

• Canceling plans is like ________

• Do my friends hate me? Or do I just need _____

• You have the moral backbone of a _______

• I’ll keep all of my ___________ right here and the one day I’ll die

White Cards-

• what’s new pussycat played 7 times followed by its not unusual followed by what’s new pussy cat

• smoking cocaine the night before your college graduation

• a 28 year old healthy man trying his best

• one black coffee

• STREET SMARTS

• shushing animals even though they’ve never spoken

• Delta Airlines

• the one thing they can’t replace

• an on fire garbage can… could be a nursery

• a sea of drunk toddlers

• a pre- y2k asshole

• Xanax

Do my friends hate me? Or do I just need what’s new pussycat played 7 followed by it’s not unusual followed by what’s new pussycat

Eat ass, suck a dick, and sell the one thing they can’t replace.

THERE’S a sea of drunk toddlers LOOSE! IN THE HOSPITAL